Sunday, March 20, 2011
I was lucky enough to see last night's Supermoon as it should be seen. Shortly after dusk as it rose on the horizon. I had to keep checking it until it was above the treetops since the entire breadth of it was hidden, in places, by those trees. As I was viewing it through the trees I was reminded of many a Halloween image of a yellow/orange moon shining on a dark background, complete with bare tree branches and a witch on a broom stick obstructing the full view. There was, of course, no witch, just the branches. I declared it a beauty ascending and waited with bated breath...well...as bated as breath can be while running from window to window to see which had the best view, to view it in full magnificence. By the time it cleared the treetops it had lost it's orange luminescense and was just another full moon. The higher it rose, the smaller it became. Sadly disappointing except for the beginning. That beginning was truly awesome, even with the trees in the way.
Now that I think on it, the experience was no different from any other which contains a strong element of anticipation. "Anticipation, an-ti-ci-pay-ay-tion is making me wait!" Ahem! Sorry, it appears I was channeling Carly Simon for a bit. Where was I? Oh yes, the supermoon, bated breath and the fall into the rut that we create when we build something up too far in our imagination. I do that all the time, I think mostly because I believe I lack patience.
I have patience enough to drive behind a real slowpoke without getting nervous or angry. I can wait in long lines at stores. Even, sometimes, giving up my spot to someone with just a couple of items in their hands who might be waiting behind me. I have patience with Butterscotch when he's been his naughty little self. I have patience with my slow moving clients, even the wilfully disobedient ones. However, my patience doesn't extend to bullies, con artist, the wilfully stupid Fox News watchers or to myself. Yes! I have no patience with ME. Zilch, zero, nada, none.
I constantly over estimate what I can accomplish in a day and then leave half of it undone. Which, of course, makes me angry at myself. By the time I'm home from work, I'm tired, and have very little ability to do at home what I've just spent all day doing for others. I do the lick and a promise type of activity and plan on catching up over the weekends. Unfortunately I am in the process of establishing a new blog which means I need to pay attention to it, treat it kindly or whatever. I'm doing that instead of accomplishing what I had anticipated doing. And at the same time I'm anticipating how much time I need to dust, vacuum, mop floors, clean the fridge, etc.
My doctor said I need to learn to have patience with myself. I'm thinking she should have suggested some self discipline along with it. In the interest of actually getting things done today instead of sitting here in front of the computer getting upset with myself, I'm going to post this and actually go do housework. Today I will not fall into a rut by taking a computer break believing I actually will only stay for 15 minutes. I will turn up the music, and boogie on down with a broom and a mop. I will use my power of positive thinking to lift myself out of this chair and go do something, and I will not be back until it's done. Just one more thing...does anyone have a cup of motivation I can borrow?