Saturday, April 30, 2016

Setting Goals And Reaching Them

Day 6 and the thought has occurred to me that this 30 day challenge will not benefit me one iota if I don't make the lifestyle changes needed to continue whatever improvements I achieve. Big deal, I've lost 5 pounds but that will only come back if I stop following the program on May 24. I now have some very important things to think about.

Number 1, This isn't about how much weight I can lose, it's about how I can learn to live a healthier lifestyle. There is a part of me that gets that, that knows this has to happen and that has to happen. I get it, I do, but will I follow through on it? I've had 2 years to do it and I just keep backsliding and not really getting to my goal.

Number 2. Being healthy, losing weight is 80% the food we eat and 20% the exercise. The weight I lost, though small, occurred during times when I managed for a few days to do the right things. Somehow I get to a point where I begin to feel deprived because I can't eat the mashed potatoes and gravy or the big piece of apple pie with ice cream. When I get to feeling deprived I get angry, mildly depressed and then instead of having 1 piece I eat that and then candy, cookies, etc. I medicate with food. I need to replace that habit with something else I enjoy that requires movement.

Number 3. I need to get real about my daily habits. It's OK to turn on the computer during breakfast, but I let it get out of hand instead of shutting it off and setting about doing things. Thank you Swiffer for manufacturing the tools that allow lazy people to make their homes look clean even when they might not be. I don't remember the last time I took all the books off the shelf and actually dusted the shelf. See what I mean?

Number 4. I need to get out of the house once in awhile and attend events like the gallery shows for local artists. Or just wander around farmers markets and flea markets. Something that will inspire me to try new things. New foods, new ideas. Maybe pick up some decorating ideas for when we finally find our new home.

Number 5. Tomorrow I'm going to the local garden centers and look into some container gardening ideas. I doubt we'll be moving until the Fall, maybe I can grow a few things, a few veggies in some containers on my deck. Even if all I decide on is tomatoes and a bush of green beans, it will give me some home grown goodness to look forward to.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Bragging Rights

I'm skipping day 4 because it was a continuation of the problem of Day 3. I had refused to play and another post occurred in which someone, not the writer of the shaming comment, started demanding I answer to her. I ignored it, the admins on the page deleted the post and banned one person from the group. Not for what was attempted to do to me, but because she chose the path of obstruction when asked to cease. The rest of us were warned but there isn't a banhammer hanging over my head.

Day 5 was first weigh in. Three people didn't make it. Only one has an acceptable excuse. She injured herself and was in surgery getting her broken leg set. The other 2 who simply failed to show will have to pay for the missed appointment and will no longer be in the program. Quite possibly will need to find a different doctor. I don't mean to make her sound like a petty martinet, she is very reasonable as long as you try to follow her advice.

She has a family practice plus the wellness clinic. Why waste appointments on people who aren't willing to do the hard work of being healthier? She can give those appointment times to people who really want the help. Makes sense to me.

My first week weight loss total was 5 pounds. A little concerning since that's mostly water and having that much water weight at my age isn't a good thing. I got a reward for it since the purpose of the challenge is to not only help you learn how to eat healthy, it's also to teach that food isn't a reward. I'm getting a Reiki Massage because I lost weight. I'm the only one that did. The other 6 stayed the same.

She read the food journals and sat with them privately to show them what part of what they ate was the culprit and how they might replace that. I was in the other room enjoying my massage. I feel very relaxed and quite happy actually. Some of that, of course, comes from being proud of myself for sticking to it.

I was so happy with myself that I resisted buying one of those luscious cakes Walmart had in the front of their store. I bought a box of strawberries instead. I haven't gotten around to washing them yet, I had a lot of running around to do and I'm a bit tired.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Sticking Up For Myself

In Facebook. The home of passive aggressiveness and I had to choose to stick up for myself there. What was I thinking?

I belong to a Facebook animal rescue group which has done some pretty decent saving of animals in NYS. A member of the group posted the vegan anthem that if you eat meat don't call yourself an animal lover.. A good dose of shaming for dessert. I was reading the comments fully preparing to stay out of it. Then the poster brought in PETA. My hands were not duct taped together so, I commented about the mission statement of PETA which is attempting to promote veganism world wide along with other rather hidden agendas. When the woman I was talking to refused to accept my point I quit commenting and moved on.

This morning I find this in my email inbox. Not from the person with whom I was speaking.

10:57pm Apr 27
Sharon Wells, one question please, you responded back above to Lynn, " ... it appears you don't respect my choice to eat meat that I buy direct from local grass fed farms here in Oneida County. There are methods to avoid the inhumanity of factory farming and sill choose to eat meat and animal products like milk and eggs." ... I noticed you used the word "choice" and "choose" ... and I know I just posted earlier to this page No Judging and No Guiltily ... but I seriously, when you say YOUR choice, let me ask you this ... what about the choice about the farm animals? Do they have a choice? Of course not, but if they did, I'm very sure they would choose to live their life out to old age and die of natural causes over being a meal on someone plate. There are most people here that don't care and are going to continue eating meat regardless. Continue to eat meat then if you want. It's everyone's "choice", it's just a shame that animals, yes even the farm animals don't have one. Yes they are all animals. Dogs, cats, etc. But most of us here hate when those people we are so against say "it's just a dog". What makes a farm animal so different. Is it not a LIFE? Again.... my point here in addressing this, when someone here is going to say "don't take away my choice to eat meat" ... when even more so YOU are responsible for taking away THEIR choice to live". I don't care in what manner, good or bad, bottom line is they are killed for your meal. Yes, it's an oxymoron. Support one or two but not all. Makes no sense to me. Go tell a trophy hunter that they are wrong because it's wrong when it's self gratification for them ... but eat meat because it's self gratification for you but that's okay.

This was to a response to a comment I made that I had no problem with vegans. I could respect their choices as long as they respect mine. I was speaking to Lynn as she says. Not to the person who sent me this.

This was my response to her.

Sharon Wells
Sharon Wells10:01am Apr 28
You directed a comment to me that I wouldn't have addressed but decided to since it did include an attempt at guilt tripping me. I will only say this to you. My husband has Crohn's Disease. He has had 1 surgery to clear scar tissue that caused an intestinal blockage and any other surgeries he may have to have in the future will include the possibility of a lifetime with an ostomy bag attached to collect the wastes from his body. We eat meat so he can stay alive without risking more surgery or anemia since he needs an iron source that is easily absorbed. I am grateful to the animals that give their lives so that my husband can continue to live. Do not ever again attempt to guilt trip me into defending my choices.

She called that a threat and claimed she wasn't trying to shame me in her comment. Since it was addressed to me, who was she trying to shame?

She also said I was making her mad that I was continuing to take it personally and I should leave her alone. I have done so and will continue to do so no matter what.

What struck me about her comment to me beside the shaming attempt is that there are people for whom animal rights have become more important that the sustenance of humans. My husband's inability to consume vegetables and fruits in any great amount because of his Crohn's is no excuse in the minds of some people for the slaughter of animals for food. 

Due to the fact that I do buy from grass fed farms I can't always buy a lot of it so I tend to see to it that he gets the meat and I eat more veggies like beans that can supply my need for protein. I do eat meat on occasion, but not every day. It would not bother me at all to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle since that does include foods like eggs and dairy products. I don't believe I'd be 100% happy about it since I prefer my pizza with pepperoni and sausage along with the veggies. 

The other thing I see in her post is that while I am expected to treat vegans with respect, I'm not to request that they treat me with the same since I am doing something they don't approve of. Having said that, I believe I'll go fire up the grill and cook the burgers I made from the cow that Pete slaughtered so that he could sell it for food. That's how he makes his living. He raises Angus cattle for the purpose of selling the meat. This is how he supports his family. Which to me is far more important than whether or not his cows live to old age. 

People make their living with these animals. They have that right and if we take that away from them, the taxpayers will have to support them through welfare benefits. People can't have it both ways.

And since yesterday was day 3 of my challenge, maybe I'm getting aggressive due to lack of sugar in my diet? There is always that I suppose. Maybe I need a Snickers Bar? Nah, I'll just cross her off of the list of people I have any respect for and since I do respect myself, I don't need to speak to her ever again. She can go her way in peace.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

All About Me, Myself And I

Yesterday, while beating myself up over all the things I didn't know about how to manage this challenge, it occurred to me that I can't know something until I've done something to learn about something. Is that called not knowing the unknowable? I doubt it, but that was what I said to myself when I began to get frustrated. Myself, of course, answered that statement by saying "Bullcrap! You are not stupid!" "Wait a minute." I said to Myself. "What has not being stupid got to do with not knowing something because it's all new material?" Myself, of course, had no answer to that.

It's one thing to catch Myself in negative self talk, quite another thing to figure out how to stop it from ever happening again. I have survived it for a good number of years, but if I continue to hang onto it, I won't benefit as much from the challenge since that may be the source of my constant backsliding and why despite the real changes I have made in how I eat over time, I am missing the being fully in health part.

I am acknowledging that I should have lost 3 times more weight than I have lost in the past 2 years. I believe the source of my failure is negative self talk and my failure to find something that works for stress reduction other than candy, cake, cookies, pie and ice cream. Something that I really hate admitting is that I haven't really tried that hard to change my habits. I'm really good at giving lip service to all the healthy ideas that have been made available to me, however after a day or two I simply don't keep them and then once I've wreaked havoc on myself, I start up again for 2 or 3 days.


I'm settling for 1/2 cup of grapes.

I am responsible for every one of the excess 46 pounds that I am still carrying on my bones. In the past 24 months I should have lost 48 pounds. It's not at all hard to lose 2 pounds a month at any age if we do the right things. In 2 years I have managed 14 pounds.

I keep trying to remind myself to celebrate that I lost weight at all instead of smacking myself around for not losing what I could have lost. I am responsible for the problem, I am also responsible for the actions I need to take to fix it. Excuse me, I have some work to do.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Teaching An Old Dog A New Trick Or Two

Day 1 of the 30 day challenge was yesterday. This challenge is a lot harder in areas I wasn't prepared for. I was planning on being hungry all day until I got used to it but the reality is I was too full to eat all of what I'm supposed to eat. Another concern I have is that after buying my fruits and vegetables yesterday I find I didn't have as much of a variety as I thought and the amounts I purchased could mean I end up with spoilage that I didn't think about. I'm going to try vacuum packaging smaller amounts of it to see if that won't retard the spoilage some. Some fruits I can dry and package that way.

It also took me twice as long to shop yesterday because I had to read the labels of everything I planned on buying. I did save money that way since a lot of what I normally buy got put back on the shelf. My husband doesn't have high blood pressure, he has Crohn's Disease so he can't eat many of the raw fruits and veggies I need to eat. He also enjoys snacks that I can't eat. I solved the snack issue by buying a melon which we both can eat, some extra sharp cheddar cheese which we both can eat and then in place of chips I bought him Cheese nip crackers that I don't like. He has this habit of wanting something and then having it become stale prior to consuming all of it so I will use ziploc baggies to repackage things once he opens them.

My fear of being deprived of bread was assuaged when I discovered Ezekiel 4:9 products. I can eat whole grains, just not things made with flour or added refined sugar. Ezekiel 4:9 products are made with sprouted whole grains. I bought the sesame Ezekiel which is made with sprouted wheat, barley, millet, lentils, soy and spelt. It isn't sold in the bread aisle in stores, it's found in the freezer section. In a way that helps me out. I seldom buy whole grain breads since they mold before I can eat them. I can pull out the loaf from the freezer, let it set for a couple of minutes, take out what I want and place the loaf back in the freezer.

While reading the requirements for the challenge I realized that I haven't been eating as many different veggies and fruits as I need to eat. For the past couple of years I have been eating healthier most of the time, but I've not used the variety the way I should. For the next 29 days I must eat 3 fruits and 6 vegetables a day. I can have 2 grain products, 2 dairy and 3 animal protein. In order to fulfill the requirements I'm going to have to do a better job meal planning, shopping and storing perishables.

I figured out that the lack of planning and the way I shop make it easier for me to backslide. I also began to understand, while reading labels on things I've bought for years, that foods I consider rewards for good behavior aren't really rewarding me. They may be shortening my life. Being kind to myself may not mean what I've always thought it means. Time for a change in habits and I feel possibly this challenge will teach me the tools I need to live a life that really is kinder to myself. I'm worth it.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Being In Health

My doctor is somewhat happy with the improvements in my general condition but there are things that she is not happy with. I have a tendency to slip up far too often so she is kicking my butt with a program she's designed for slackers. Program starts tomorrow and lasts for 30 days. I signed an actual contract to participate and follow orders exactly so I have no excuse. This was not a suggestion, this is something of an order. She's figured out that if I give my word on something I will follow through unless physically incapable of doing so.

For the next 30 days I have to give up eating bread, biscuits, rolls, pasta, rice, white potatoes, cake, cookies, pie, cereals with sugar in them, ice cream and candy. No honey, maple syrup, agave syrup, or any artificial sweeteners of any kind. I can eat oatmeal as long as it's not instant and doesn't contain any fruits unless I add them myself from fresh or frozen. If I buy frozen I have to look for no sugar added. No sausage, bacon, hot dogs or any lunch meats. If that's not punishment enough, I now must participate in a 20 minute yoga session daily plus a 30 minute walk. The walk must contain two 5 minute intervals of brisk movement but otherwise can be moderately paced. Aaaand there needs to be weight lifting 3 days a week. HELP!

There are 10 of us participating and we all volunteered for this. She got us to volunteer before we found out the scope of the deprivation involved. There were 12 of her patients that expressed an interest but the email for today reminding us the program starts tomorrow stated 2 will not be joining us. I don't have to join the others on Saturday at the gym. A decision she made, due to my various types of arthritis and the diagnosis of Reiters Disease. The condition of my right hip prevents me from using a treadmill, elliptical, or any machine that determines the pace of my movement. I have to work with the pace my hip sets and some days that's slow. Hence the moderate pace for walking with the two brisk intervals not longer than 5 minutes each.

She talked me into this program because my blood pressure has been creeping up and neither of us wishes to increase my medications so I have to try this in order to get it back down again. Day 30 happens on May 23 and I have an appointment on May 24. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and tomorrow I'm heading out to the grocery store to drop a bundle on fruits and veggies. I should have gone today but decided I wanted to spend my last day before the torture begins just being lazy.

Another task we need to do is journal our thoughts as this program advances. I'm planning on using this blog for that because I don't really want to listen to some at my other blog site who seem to feel they know more than my medical professional about what I should and shouldn't be doing. They mean well, some of them anyway, I just don't trust myself to remain calm with them while undergoing a sugar deprivation. That could get tricky and elevate my blood pressure which I really don't need.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Life Is Like A Song And Someone Needs To Change The Channel.

We bought land. The septic system is there, the well, the electricity and the mobile home on it is a junk. So, we need to find a newer one without going 40K into debt on a new one, put in a concrete pad with tie downs to put one on and move in. We also will have to tear down the existing one plus the one I'm living in now unless someone offers me money for it which I doubt. It's old and not quite a junk but getting there. How old is it? Let me put it this way. In 1993 my furnace serviceman exclaimed that the furnace was old enough to go out drinking in NYS where the age is 21.

I want a new one with more rooms in it so I have space to hide my husband's business mess. I have found 2 mobiles that I wouldn't mind having. Unfortunately we couldn't meet the sellers price on the first one and it appears we won't get the second one either. We know how much we have saved and we don't want to borrow if we don't have to. If we do have to borrow I want a small enough loan that I can pay off in 2 or 3 years.

I was looking at the calendar and noting that next Tuesday the 26th I will have been an online blogger for a decade. It seems to me that I should feel more of a sense of accomplishment than I do. Maybe it's because I've spent 20% of that time blogging in a day care center for cranky old adults. Some people call it an asylum but the truly insane only comprise maybe 10% of the population there so I'm not quite sure asylum is the word, however some of those bloggers there are strange.

It's almost like they're characters out of a Pink Floyd song. "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" or maybe "Wish You Were Here". I'm pretty sure some of them are "Comfortably Numb". Between the paranoid and the Bipolar there are a few peaceful bloggers that make the stay worthwhile. And too, people actually comment on our blogs although there are some I wish wouldn't.

Sometimes I really wish I'd never started blogging. Other times I'm glad I did because I've had exposure to people I would have never met otherwise including those I suspect might just be crazy. It's all good, even when it's bad, it's good.