Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Last Time We Saw Each Other
I never really knew Darlene even though we were in homeroom together in our Senior year. She ran with the "popular" crowd, while I was the bookworm who wasn't interested in clothes and makeup. She was blonde to my mousy brown and was quite beautiful. I, on the other hand was average in the looks department. I was the better student. There was no animosity nor jealously between us, we just weren't on the same page as people. Friendly, without a desire on either of our parts to get to know each other except superficially. We both thought it odd that we attended all the same schools and it wasn't until 12th grade that we wound up sharing a homeroom. Our last names were one letter different.
When I called my step-mom to find out what she knew, she was in the dark as much as I was. However, she, without remembering my age kept saying how young she was and how scary it was that she died so young. By the time we were off the phone, I found myself with an urge to hug my boss. Had she not chosen January for our annual assessments and physicals, that obituary very much could have been mine.
Since it was a sudden and unexpected death I'm making an assumption of heart attack or stroke. If ever I needed an impetus to keep me on the doctors program, this was it. All of these changes I'm making aren't easy. I've spent so much time eating in an unhealthy manner that I constantly have to fight against the urge to slide backwards, or give it up entirely. There are days when I arrive home from work tired and have no desire to do all that preparation work in the kitchen. I do it grudgingly, but I do it. After today, I'm very glad I do it, and will continue to do it because I'm not yet ready for the alternative. I like breathing too much.