Less Thinking About Doing And More Doing

The program was a positive experience for me. My numbers improved. While my cholesterol wasn't high to start out with the ratio between HDL ad LDL needed improving. That happened as a result of the program. My glucose levels also went down. Total weight loss was 5 pounds, body fat was down by 3%. My yeast overgrowth lessened which shows as a lack of coating on my tongue, a lack of itchy blotches on my face as well as a drop in my sedimentation rate.

My purchase of the Earth Shoes intrigued her. She knows the benefits of wearing them. It never occurred to her that I was aware of the negative heels and the improvement I can gain in posture and lack of stress on my knee and ankle joints. We had a laugh over my statement that learning to walk in them when you're 25 is a far cry from doing the same thing at 66. When I pick up speed, I walk on the balls of my foot rather than the heel to toe which the shoes encourage. It's an awkward feeling that will improve since I wear them almost exclusively except around the house when I go barefoot.

When I was asked what my chosen goal was going to be I answered that it was to learn to be consistent in my physical activity and food choices. She suggested that I make a list of tasks that I wish to accomplish each day and then check them off when I do them. She feels that doing the list will help me pace myself so I'm not doing so much I hurt and then find I need too long to recover. This interferes with my ability to lose weight at the caloric intake she has assigned to me. She also suggested I try a wider variety of vegetables. I eat mostly green veggies and she tells me there are other colors out there.

She is pleased with my diligence in completing the program and with the things I improved and learned as a result of the program. Most important to me is that I feel the program has put me in a good place and given me the tools I need for continued improvement. Now it's just a matter of following up on what I've learned to continue the growth necessary to reach my goal of being in health.

At Day's End

Last day of the program and I made it. I'll find out tomorrow how well this worked for me. Had the blood work done Thursday morning so she'd have the results at tomorrows appointment. Whether I've achieved what I'm supposed to have remains to be seen but I have learned a few things. I'm going to continue to follow the program on my own. I feel better, there's less pain in my joints. I'm also calmer which is a good thing since our plans had a major monkey wrench thrown into them and now we don't know if we have enough money to develop the property we bought.

I was wondering if that might have something to do with not being online as much. At first I dismissed that because I don't really pay enough attention to my use to be able to say I'm online less. Today in my email there was a notice from my provider that I had been restored to full speed since I was using less. I guess that answers my usage question. Whether it answers the question or not of being calmer because of less usage remains to be seen. It is more likely to be the yoga since that's meditative in nature but the lack of internet aggravation can't hurt.

The daily keeping of the journal fizzled out somewhat these past days. I actually transferred what I was thinking to a composition book since some of it was painful to me. I found I didn't want prying eyes reading what I was thinking and feeling. Blogging by it's nature doesn't lend itself well to privacy. I found I needed privacy.

After today I am free to resume consumption of the foods that were to be omitted completely while on the program. I may add them back but not for regular consumption. This week there will be cake and ice cream since my husband's 68th birthday is Wednesday and when the Amish resume their Saturday morning bake sales I might stop and buy some of Mrs Yoder's World's Best Sugar Cookies. That won't happen every week, I surprisingly didn't miss the sweets, bacon on the other hand has been calling my name for the last week.

I may have a bacon and egg breakfast on Sunday with white bread toast. And I may just have them with Ezekiel bread. I just know that there will be 3 slices of crispy bacon residing in my tummy some time this weekend. Whatever else goes down with that remains to be seen.

The birthday boy and his little buddy seem to have the need for a nap. I had the air conditioner on earlier and it blows directly onto the couch which made him cold. I shut it off. 

This is my little buddy wondering where the food is. He likes a little bacon now and again too. 

Got Up Offa That Thang!

Despite the emotional upheaval involved in the depth of self examination that I am asked to do during this journey, I seem to have acquired a sense of something I'm having difficulty defining. Yesterdays weigh in found that I am down another pound and a half which makes the 19 day total 6.5 pounds. All other numbers are coming down and the yoga and walking seem to be translating into inches lost since my jeans are quite baggy around hips and thighs. 

I'm enjoying, not just the weight loss, but the learning involved in this process. I'm learning the science of nutrition and exercise and learning things about myself that I probably knew but dismissed through all these years. About a week ago I stopped doing something. I stopped most of the negative self talk and started finding the ability to say that I made a mistake and I need to accept that and move on. 

My husband had asked me to do something and I forgot it. When he came home and asked me if I had done it I told him I forgot and would do it then. I stopped what I was doing and went to do what he'd asked of me without justifying myself while he nagged at me. Got it all done, handed him the finished product, asked if he needed anything else and apologized again. That is so not me. I usually get mad at myself and spit and sputter and then end up bickering with my husband when he nags. Not this time, don't know why the change for sure but suspect it has something to do with eating a lot less sugar and learning to feel that I don't need to be perfect. 

There is a lot less joint pain although the stiffness when I first get out of bed is still there. I added some bone strengthening yoga positions to the ones I've learned to do at the beginning of this program. I started those yesterday and was a little sore this morning and my legs felt stiffer than normal. 

I had a wonderful experience this morning. I was dusting, got down on my knees on the floor to dust teh bottom shelf under the TV stand. Didn't hesitate, never asked myself if I could get up if I got down there. I just did it and got up very easily. Next thing I know I could be dancin' in the streets. LOL

Working Towards My Goals.

Sitting here looking at this blank space and wondering if the area behind my eyes looks like this because I can't seem to find what I want to say. Something must be in there somewhere, I just can't find it.

This is the week I'm supposed to decide on a long term goal for myself. I've been thinking about it and haven't come up with anything unless she'll accept live to be 100 and get shot by a jealous wife. I'm pretty sure she's looking for a commitment to the transformation from a state of being less than healthy to being in health.

Its a process that has to be committed to. I have commitment issues when it means giving up mashed potatoes and gravy, chocolate cake, pie and brownies, among other things. It's like my head says I want to be in health but I haven't been successful with the hard work and sacrifice part. I'm actually wondering if the company I've been keeping online might not have something to do with that.

The constant negativity from the media along with the members of my blog site and Facebook Friends is contagious. I've never really spent time thinking about whether I'm a half empty or half full kind of person. I do know I am mistrustful of people I can't see with my own eyes and I am far too cynical. And that has existed since I was a child.

When I was 11 a very damaging bit of gossip went around the adults of the neighborhood. When it got back to the family the gossip was about, I got the blame. I got called a liar and trouble and people I respected ordered me off their property and refused to allow me to play with their children who were my best neighborhood friends. Every single one of the neighbors knew who started the rumor including my Mom, and no one would tell them it wasn't me. Honestly, it was my own Dad that started it, and everyone was most interested in protecting him at my expense. It was a lesson I never forgot. I learned that you can't trust anyone, not even family. I don't think I can change that. Not with the way people are now.

The one thing I did finally figure out when I sat down to think things through was that I can't continue to allow that to color my view of myself. During the course of my meditation on the subject I realized that while I had said I forgave them, I actually hadn't forgiven my Dad. Some of my less than brilliant decisions throughout my life were made because I didn't forgive him. Now what I have to do is find that forgiveness.

I think that will be my goal because a healthy mind is necessary for a healthy life. I think my goal will be to learn to forgive my Dad so I can banish all those negative self talk thoughts that interfere with me reaching whatever goal I finally do set for myself. Being healthy feels better and I need to find the willingness to work on that.

Butt Hurts

No, not the internet kind, the real sit down hard on the butt kind.

My Kalso Earth Shoes arrived yesterday. They fit perfectly, feel great on my feet, but I don't remember that I had to learn to walk in them back when I owned my first (and only pair until now) back in the 70s. 

When the nice man in the brown truck knocked on the door I was so excited I couldn't wait to put them on. Grabbed a pair of socks, sat down in the chair to put them on. Didn't even take the tag off first. Put both feet on the floor and stood up. Maybe I should say tried to stand up? I jumped up and the heel lower than the ball of the foot threw me backward onto the chair again. Hard. I started laughing and being very grateful that the chair was braced against the computer hutch so that it didn't roll back far enough for my butt to meet the floor.

Walked up and down the hallway a couple of times and noted that when I picked up the pace my heel didn't hit the floor. Had to slow the pace down which is probably a good thing until I get used to them again. I did notice that the position of my ankles was different and that my foot was rolling from heel to toe in an even manner instead of turning inward onto the arch. That evenness is why I bought them because correct foot position when walking reduces stress on the knees and mine are arthritic and painful. Very painful in the middle of the night. 

The balance issue I'm experiencing will correct itself with use of the shoe so that I will be able to stand from a sitting position without falling backwards. It's just going to take a few days of wearing them although I think I'll practice in the house for a couple of days where the floor is even and there are things I can grab on to. Safer that way.

I'm going to take a 15 minute walk up and down the hallway to see how they feel on my back. If the weather clears up I'll grab my trekking poles and see how they feel on my half an hour walks this week. I can use the poles for balance until I get used to them. Walking in a shoe that feels good on the feet is a blessing. One that will make me want to walk often and for longer periods of time. I have so much to do that I need the time to myself that a good walk can give me.

Oldest Step-Son and his wife bought me flowers for Mother's Day. 

It's been a great weekend. I could get used to all this spoiling.

Day 12 Weigh In

My weight stayed the same, but the doctor has the kind of scales that also measures body fat. That came down. All that dancing with the broom must have used up some fat. My blood pressure also dropped down to almost normal. Keeping my fingers crossed that it stays down.

I have decided to reward myself every week until the end of the program IF my blood pressure stays down. It was down last week so the shoes were the reward for that. I got out my rose colored vase and decided that some flowers might be a good reward for this week. One of those grocery store bouquets come to mind. I can put them on top of the freezer in the dining room and they will be visible to me from the entire living area of my home.

After the 24th I will only have to see the nurse once a month for the weigh in and BP check so the price of the rewards can go up. I sure couldn't afford to spend $100 every week for a reward, but $10 a week or so won't be too much of a budget buster. A plus that I believe I'm experiencing from the healthy eating is that my nails are growing. Maybe a manicure might be a good reward? Maybe another Reiki session might be managed as well. I don't like having strangers touching me but Reiki is just a laying on of hands to transfer energy and I found that to be quite comfortable.

I'm going to make Baked Ziti tomorrow. The Husband is asking for some. I'm not supposed to eat the pasta, but I can control the amount I take and fill my plate with the veggies I'll be serving and since I'll be including beans (Stink generator type beans) I will have consumed enough fiber with the pasta to offset a bit the effects of the starchy carbs. A bit of a deviation from the plan but not a total destruction. I can handle that just fine.

Day 10 And Still Sticking With It

I'm in the dog house with the cats today. They were trying to nap and I was in the mood to do things and I seem to have disturbed them more than they liked. I was just cleaning the kitchen and sweeping and mopping floors. Ok, I will admit that I had the Sirius XM channel 70s on 7 a bit louder than I normally do and I was tripping the light fantastic with my partner the broom, but still. They didn't need to try to knock me down to stop me. They have no sense of humor.

I was greeted this morning by an email from the EarthShoe company I ordered from. They said my shoes were shipped yesterday so this means that sometime between the 9th and the 13th my shoes will be here. I'm so pumped about it and I had a brief fear that they won't be as comfortable as I remember my 70s pair were. It was lunch time so I checked the recommendations from people who own these shoes and they were all positive so since the shoes were getting 5 stars I decided to shove the bad thoughts out of my mind.

I wasn't all that hungry at lunch so I just grabbed some veggies like cukes, green peppers and cherry tomatoes along with a nice scoop of Roasted Garlic Hummus and went to dipping away. I was going to have some cheddar cheese with it but I was full when I finished the veggies. I left the cheese for a mid afternoon snack.When I finished lunch I shut the computer off and picked up a book. That occupied me until it was time to go pick up the neighbor and his dog to drive them to the Animal Hospital for Chino's wellness visit. Took my book with me and sat in the car reading.

Tomorrow or Friday I'm going to the health food store to pick up rolled oats and chia seeds. I'm going to try those overnight oats recipes I keep seeing online. Put it together in a half pint mason jar at night, pop it into the fridge overnight and eat it the next morning. I can warm it up in the microwave or eat it right out of the fridge. I hadn't been overly interested in trying them because there is so much sugar in most of the ones I've seen. And who wants chocolate for breakfast? My DIL emailed me some recipes that don't use a lot of sugary things so now I'm interested in what they might taste like.

I'm going to try using vanilla yogurt instead of the plain which means I won't need the honey or maple syrup or the teaspoon of jam some of them call for. I can add the oats, milk, chia seed, yogurt and whatever cut up fruit and chopped nuts I want and just let it do it's thing overnight. Sure beats having to cook the oats for the required 20 or so minutes every morning. And without all that sugar and starchy carbs that I usually consume, my joints have been feeling much better these past couple of days. I could get really used to that in a hurry.

Thinking About Stuff

So, I was standing here this morning in Mountain Pose weaving in the breeze, trying to maintain better balance when it hit me. I really wasn't sure I was right, so when I sat down for breakfast I turned on the computer and sat here reading my last few posts. There it was plain as day. Me beating myself up because I haven't always used what I've learned about nutrition and activity levels to my advantage. Instead of asking myself why I backslide and trying to adjust my attitude accordingly, I just complain about what I didn't do instead of finding the areas in which I did do what worked.

In order to reach my goal, I need to stop doing what doesn't work. Negative self talk equals failure. So, I had a conversation with myself.

"Self, I asked, why do you believe you have failed?"

And Self said: "Because we haven't achieved the weight loss goal we wanted to see by now."

I asked Self: "What happened to being in health?"

Self said: "Being in health is being thin."

Whooo Boy, no wonder I get frustrated when I have to give up the things I love to eat. I'm depriving myself of something I really want and am not seeing the scales reflect enough loss to make my emotional deprivation worth while to me.  As long as my core belief is that thin equals healthy, I will continue to be frustrated, angry, depressed and ready to chuck all my work out the window and backslide.

After my post breakfast 30 minute walk I sat down and did some research. These are the things I found out.

Rapid weight loss causes the metabolism to slow down by 500 Kcals a day. This is the reason why almost all of the contestants on the Biggest Loser regained almost all of the weight they lost during the competition. exercising for 4 to 6 hours a day and eating under 1200 calories isn't the way to go. I puts the body into starvation mode and I have to ask if they don't also not build as much muscle as it appears they do. Anyway, I know I don't want rapid weight loss.

Since I'm over 65 I found that my caloric requirement to maintain my weight would be 1800 calories a day. So, if I concentrate on eating 1500 calories from the right foods to give myself the optimal nutritional advantage I not only will feel better (I already do after just 9 days) I should be able to lose 2 pounds a month.

My exercise requirements for my age is 2.5 hours of MODERATE aerobic activity a WEEK, plus at least 2 days a week of strength and balance. I'm doing yoga every day plus half hour walks 5 days a week. That should be enough as long as I add weights of some kind since yoga is great for both strength and balance. Doing housework, laundry, cooking, shopping and yard work should be more than enough activity added to my exercise routine to keep me burning calories.

The key to everything is to eat nutritionally dense foods instead of so many empty calories. Fruits, vegetables, protein, dairy and whole grains. And no more negative self talk.

And as a reward for sticking to this program for 9 days and figuring out things that are holding me back, I went back to the website and bought a pair of Kalso Earth Shoes. I didn't buy the leather pair, I found a sneaker with the negative heel. I'll wait until Fall to buy the leather pair. I'm getting excited about the new shoes.

A Visit with Miss Dorothy

Miss Dorothy is the energetic manager of the Natural Health Center where I buy the nutritional supplements that my doctor prescribes for me. She is all about organic, healthy habits and something called earthing. Earthing is going barefoot to stay grounded to the earth and absorb it's energy. Around here you could find yourself with Lyme Disease if you do that. Ticks are all over the place and can attach to the bottom of our feet. However during our conversation she made a couple of admissions about her own habits that aren't always 100% healthy.

She leaned into me conspiratorially and whispered that when she wants something she has it. She claims if I don't make a big deal out of it and deny myself what I want that I won't upset myself and then binge on it. I'm more than willing to try that. And she sold me an expensive small bag of Ghirardelli Intense Dark chocolate. One piece equals 60 calories and it's good for us. Bitter, but healthy. One piece to be eaten when the chocolate craving happens. Even though it's not a milk chocolate and super sweet, it will work to curb the craving.

I definitely will need to keep the computer shut off until I have finished whatever my daily goals are. I lose track of time and spend far too much time sitting when I could be doing. Even getting up and going to do something while the computer is on doesn't leave me sufficient time to do everything I want to do.

I had to go replenish my fruit and veggie supply today. It's been raining all day and my arthritis is painful so I didn't get around to washing everything off the way I normally do. If I had gone when I planned to instead of sitting online, I'd have had the prepping all done by the time I started supper. First thing after breakfast dishes tomorrow I will be washing and slicing my bounty. I hurt too much right now to stand long enough to do supper dishes tonight and clean the produce.

And while I'm sitting in front of the computer tonight, I might buy myself a pair of Kalso Earth shoes with negative heels. I had a pair in the 70s. They were ugly, clunky looking things that were the best most comfortable shoes I have ever worn. Miss Dorothy gave me the information that they were still being made and could be purchased online at a website she gave me. I may wait and go to the shoe store in New Hartford that she says also carries them. If I can justify to myself spending $150 dollars on a pair of ugly but comfortable shoes.

Day 7 Reflections

Didn't get to the lawn and garden places due to rain and a rather raw wind. I did laundry and dusted the book shelves instead. It began to bother me that I couldn't remember how long since the last time I removed the books to get at the shelves. Something meant to be a joke turned into a catalyst for some additional activity here today.

Activity for the day included 2 loads of laundry, changing of the bed linens, dusting, preparation and clean up after the serving of 3 meals since my husband was home all day and my morning yoga. That isn't something I was doing before, but I have to say on Day 7 that there is some kind of change which may have something to do with the yoga.

One of my Facebook friends, Jackie, started yoga quite some time ago and she's posting pictures of some of the advanced asanas that she can do and even though she's overweight, that woman can hold her entire body off the floor while it's in a pose. She started out at 60 pounds overweight and is now down 30 pounds. And she is amazingly strong. She's at least 20 years younger than I am but age isn't a drawback when it comes to yoga. I'm also wondering whether or not the meditation aspects of it will help me stay on track.

Due to the problem with my hip, I can't sit in the lotus pose so I have to start standing up, but in just 7 days I find myself able to do more of the poses than I could a week ago. I'll get a new link from the doctor next Friday to a different yoga video to be added to the poses I'm doing now. I don't believe my arthritic shoulders will allow me to lift my own body weight but you never know.

I also decided that since I am doing this for my health, I'm going to not set a goal weight and just work on the health improvement aspect. My friend Jeannie asked me how I'll know when I'm there and I told her I believe my blood pressure will come down and stay down when I've achieved a better state of health. And maybe that should be my goal. Maybe that's why I've never managed to stick to a program of healthy eating. Maybe I've been too focused on my weight rather than my health.