Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Making Hard Decisions Doesn't Come Easy

There is a lengthy and rather convoluted path we travel in life. For some of us that path is smooth with few bumps and for others it's a mountainous climb with many missteps along the way. For most of my life the path has been relatively smooth. Mountainous climbs have usually been of my own making since making mountains out of molehills is a habit of the Type A personality. Another Type A trait is that we dismiss things we should pay attention to and obssess about things we should dismiss.

I was diagnosed, in my middle 20's with ankylosing spondylitis. That was back when doctors were demi-gods and one didn't ask questions. Had no idea what it was and since all I heard was "arthritis" never bothered to ask what it was. It's a form of rheumatoid arthritis that affects the spine's sacroiliac joint. Which accounts for all the lower back, hip and leg pain I've been experiencing for the past year.

It's not that I didn't have pain before, it would come and go periodically. Much of the time it would exist at a level that I could and did ignore. It wasn't until I did a music post about Motley Crue that I encountered the term again. Mick Mars has it, and had a hip replaced so he could rejoin the group when they tried to reconcile around the middle of the last decade. Once I found out what it was, I decided there wasn't anything I could do about it since I don't have health insurance, so I resumed ignoring the problem. That reality check bounced. Fortunately, this time I have a doctor who can guide me through this flare. Good thing, because it's lasted more than a month.

I'm having trouble writing blog posts since I can't sit for long periods of time. I've maintained my Twitter account by posting a couple of things and then moving away from the computer to do things that will keep me from stiffening up too much. It's not humanly possible to move constantly, but if I'm not moving, I'm supposed to be lying down to keep everything straight. That too is pretty difficult.

During a conversation with my doctor at my last appointment the subject of internet usage and TV watching came up. She believes that there is a correlation between what happens in the mind and ones level of health. When we expose ourselves to unresolved negativity, it will effect us one way or another somewhere else in our bodies. Her view is that we'd all be farther ahead if we shut off our TVs and limited our online time to less than half an hour a day.

I'm not sure what I will do about any of this. That half an hour isn't much and won't allow me to be as social as I might like to be. I thought about closing my blog and just spending my online time in Twitter. I'm finding that Twitter is a major source of the negativity that may be having an effect on my problem. I finally decided to step away from the computer for her suggested 30 days in favor of other things until I can make up my mind. There's just too much garbage in, garbage out going on and I need to concentrate on me and not obssess about what possesses others to behave so badly.


  1. That just sucks, Sherry. You should have mentioned this before, or more often, 'cause I had no idea you were suffering with any of this.

    I'm sure you've tried all of the "home remedies", but I'll offer one anyway. Have you spent any time on an inversion table? My sister has one and this past weekend I spent a few minutes letting my spine stretch out at a 50 degree angle, and it felt great! I've had two surgeries on my neck from work-related injuries, but have been told lower back problems are a lot worse. I can't imagine anything being worse, but there you go.

    Hope you manage to stay on-line with us. I like your perspective on things.

  2. Am having some of the same thoughts myself, although I have (so far) dodged the RA bullet (a possibility, since Mom has it) but am having problems with my wrists & hands that are probably arthritis-related.

    Hang in there! <3

  3. Sherry,
    I have gout, which is a severe form of artritis.
    The VA has me on Naproxen 500 MG. It reducesa the swelling and kills the pain.


    Try Naproxen.


  4. I have found zen meditation can help with the feelings of negativity - Mind/body is a powerful wishes
    the Ol'Buzzard

  5. Squatlo,

    I'm going to try limiting my online usage to half an hour a day as suggested by my doctor. I don't know what I can do in that time, but I'll try.


    There's too much negativity going online, I'm going to take a couple of days away from the computer this coming weekend and then see what I can accomplish in the short amount of time the doctor suggested. The more I move, the less pain there is and that's a good thing.


    Can't take Naproxen, it causes me stomach problems. Actually I'm not taking anything at all for pain, I'm controlling it through stretching the muscles and just ignoring it.


    Learning meditation is on my to do list for 2012. I just need to carve out a quiet time during the day and try it until I get it right, or wrong, or whatever.

  6. Kelly McMillen/ MidnightJanuary 1, 2012 at 7:28 AM

    Hey, Sherri;
    My boyfriend has A.S. (may have already told you that) and it has taken a huge toll on him, He is also the kindest, sweetest man I have ever met. He credits this disease for his current take on life and has a way of putting things in perspective-very helpful for someone like me! He absolutely limits his intake on the stressful aspects of media. He is online A LOT but refuses to read/view anything that upsets him. Most of the time that's anything politically related! He has no doubt this keeps him much healthier! What ever you need to do to minimize stress is a good thing. I admit I miss you when you are quiet, but it's not about me, ya know?! Good Luck to you, and may the New Year bring you health and happiness-a few bucks probably wouldn't hurt, either!