Monday, March 26, 2012

The Return of Women As Second Class Citizens

The Equal Rights Amendment was passed by Congress in 1972, and is still not added to the Constitution as the 28th Amendment. The reason for that is, it has not been ratified by the necessary 38 states. Women 20 or more years younger than I am believe they have equal rights under the Constitution, and simply can't understand how men doing their job make more money than they do. We are led to believe that benefits us in some way since the men are being paid more and are our protectors. Maybe in some alternate universe this occurs, like the proverbial pigs ass?

In 2006 there were nearly 233,000 reported rapes. That same year nearly 1,600 women lost their lives to violence by spouse or significant other. Estimates on non fatal physical violence by husband or significant other range from 900,000 to as high as 3 million victims. These statistics are for the US alone. Guys, this is not what Olivia Newton-John meant when she sang "Let's get physical" in the 1970's. Trust me on that.

The angriest I ever got at someone I had contact with online was with John The Squabbler. He stated to me that this increase in domestic violence was a direct result of women wanting equality. While I don't remember that he outright blamed women for being victims, he skirted close enough to it that I was truly offended. The problem was his experience within his family as a child was different from mine.

I was raised in a family where Dad made all the decisions without any input from my Mom. This state of affairs was, along with his verbal abuse, why they found themselves in divorce court by the time I was 13. He created a situation where Mom was fully dependent upon him for transportation to everything and then he didn't like it. He chose the house we lived in which was on the outskirts of the city and not near stores or other family members homes. He undermined her attempts at learning to drive, belittled and yelled at her constantly. She was among the lucky ones in our circle of acquaintances.

Three of my childhood friends were sexually molested by their fathers. Our next door neighbor had 6 kids and was the clumsiest woman according to her husband. She had black eyes, broken nose, ribs, her arm and once was so badly beaten she had a concussion. My friend Carol's Mom who also had frequent bruising finally fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck. We now know she was beaten and pushed by her husband. He admitted it on his deathbed. He did it between the time the kids left for school and he left for work. Carol and her brothers found her when they got home.

Mom's friend Anita had 2 boys she simply was unable to love. They were conceived through rape which in the 50's and 60's wasn't rape due to the perpetrator being her husband. Women didn't have the right to say no to their husbands and men had the right to force their wives to do whatever they wanted as long as they didn't kill them, men had the right to punish them as if they were wayward children.

None of this happened in ghettos or occurred in families living in poverty. This happened in middle class families where the men had decent jobs that allowed them to provide well for their families. This happened in families that attended church every Sunday without fail. The men were officers in the Air Force, General Managers in local mills, and in the case of my Dad, the city Codes Enforcer. There are no statistics for the frequency of occurrence during those years because no one ever reported it. Even rape victims would not go to the police because they would be treated as if they caused it to happen to them. Victims were actually asked if they enjoyed it or if they had an orgasm.

Here we are, half a century later and MEN, those we have elected to govern us are again trying to take away from women any right that we have gained. They even have support from women who have decided that bad things don't happen to decent god fearing women. Bad things only happen to sluts, bimbos and other women who dress provocatively and behave as if they're available to all takers. Bad things only happen to poor women who keep having babies so they won't have to ever work for a living since they live high on Welfare.

I was a normal average kid, in a normal average neighborhood, in what people believe now was a "kinder, gentler America". I find nothing kind or gentle in the lives of women who were and are treated as children to be controlled by the whim of her "better half". If we sit silently by and allow men to decide what we can and can't do with our bodies, then we are failing our daughters and granddaughters by forcing them to live without the right to be self directing within their own lives.


  1. This is a good telling of a terrible situation. Well said indeed.

    Here in Kansas the legislature is about to (or maybe already by now) pass a law forbidding insurance companies from paying for abortion, disallowing the cost of it as tax deductable as medical expense. This will apply in all cases, rape, incest, threat to life, no exceptions. This is just the latest, this year 4 or 5 new anti women laws have been passed, and there are 30 proposed in the coming weeks, or into the next session.
    One thing they did was write safety laws for abortion providers, pages of nonsense, including all lights will be on at all times, even the closets must have lights on. If inspectors find a light off or burned out they are shut down for some period and fined.
    Gov. Sam Brownback's facebook page is being "sarcasm bombed" by women asking him for help and advice on menstrual problems, yeast infections, breast lumps etc., some are pretty graphic. Many of them are prefaced with statements like,..since you do not trust me to work with my own doctor on my health issues, I am turning to you....

    The wife and I are talking these issues up and urging people to remember these issues in November.

    1. Fringe,

      Well, that almost makes me want to get a FB account. NOT! My Twitter account where I get to read the GOP stupidity is elevating my BP enough as it is.

      The only way to combat it is by voting, and far too many people simply don't.

  2. Excellent article.

    My mother was one of those women who had the crap beat out of her by my stepfather in a drunken rage, on a weekly basis. I witnessed it many times...the police never doing one damned thing about it. When I turned 16, I threatened him with a 2 x 4, and really believe I would have killed his sorry ass if he laid one more hand on her. He left forever, shortly thereafter. So, I want you to know that there are as many of us (men) who are as incensed by these cretin ideas as there are those who are pushing it. They are not going to get away with it.

    1. jadedj,

      You have no idea how much I hope you're right. My problem is that I'm losing my hope that anything will ever be sane again.

      Bless you.

  3. I cannot forsee a single reason why a man should strike a woman - not even one. Yet, a few years ago when they were in their late seventies I suspect he hit Mom. My sister and I were outraged and it has never happened again.
    The Fringe is right - You women have one major power and that is your vote.

    Oh, a Lousiville Slugger might work for that demestic violence stuff.

    Good post.

    1. Sarge,

      My Mom used to say, after the divorce, that she'd have rather had him slap her than browbeat her into a sobbing mess. There's more than one way to injure a woman and that is to break her spirit. Dad did that to her, but never to me. There would be years of our lives when I flat refused to speak to him because he'd call me stupid. We always patched it up, and at least the last time he learned to keep his mouth shut.

  4. The second-class, and worse, treatment of women by the republicans is one of the most bizarre things I have ever seen. With America the "most advanced and freest" country in the world it defies explaination how someone like Santorum can be ever be seriously considered president of the United States.

    Now I will say that since Romney has in no way call out Santorum for his stupidity if any woman in this country does vote republican they are not in their right mind.

    1. Beach,

      We're in this mess because the feminist movement screwed up. They managed to make it all about being able to have as many sexual partners as they wanted to have and they vilified women who chose willingly to be stay at home Moms and housekeepers. Plus, in the early days women, with multiple partners, were using abortions instead of birth control. I've met a couple of those, am pro choice and they disgusted me. Not enough to stop being pro choice, but enough to make me realize I am against abortion except in certain circumstances. I just don't want to interfere with another woman's life and force her into a situation that is untenable to her.

  5. "This happened in families that attended church every Sunday without fail." Religion is part of the problem with the way women were and are viewed: Eve as the cause of original sin...temptress etc. I believe that regular going church women are more submissive and less assertive.

    There is no excuse for violence against women or children; and men who strike women are cowards.

    However, women are over fifty percent of the population in the states passing these restrictive laws against women. I am constantly amazed at Republican majorities- where are the women?

    1. Buzzard,

      In many ways society teaches us we, as women, are nothing without a man. We are taught we're not as strong as men, we can't make as much money as a man, obviously, we need a man to be successful. And we are being schooled in this belief by...other women. To be a quietly independent unmarried woman isn't anything most of us aspire to. We want to be Moms and many of us think that should happen with a Dad at home where he belongs.