This Ain't Good

This morning as I was heaped upon the kitchen floor at a client's home, I had a moment of painful clarity. Like most of my moments it got immediately lost. Probably due to my brain coping with the body aches one finds one has when one has fallen onto a hard surface. After assessing my situation and deciding that nothing was broken, there was the monumental task of getting the heel of my shoe out from under the butt cheek that was resting on it. Said task had to be accomplished without blowing the kneecap attached to the leg that was bent in more than the 45 degree angle recommended by my doctor. Obviously I managed to unfold and stand, but for awhile there, I wondered.

This September, I will be 63 years old. That is a fact that I keep ignoring, which is how I wound up in a twisted heap on the floor. Client lives with family. They have a 10 month old baby and they keep the baby from crawling into the kitchen by using a baby gate. They bought a new one which operates differently and from the livingroom side of the gate, I couldn't see what had to be done to open it. So, I stepped over it, caught my foot on the top of it and lost my balance. Normally a little bit of dancing will help me regain my balance prior to falling on the floor. The dance does not work when one foot is on the floor and the toe of a sneaker is resting on top of a baby gate.

Most baby gates have a cross bar you simply lift up on. Not this one. It's a much more solid plastic gate that has a lever which needs to be pulled down and held while the gate is slid back. Since manufacturers like to make things look more impressively difficult than they are, the workings of the latch are not apparent unless one is sitting on the floor directly in front of it. Of course, the assembly instructions would have had that information as well. Said latch is underneath a piece of decorative molded plastic which can't be seen from the livingroom side of the gate.

I would have liked to wrap that gate around the heads of my client's family. Once the baby is in bed, there is no need to leave this gate blocking the kitchen door. Not only that, it's dangerous to do so. They even leave it up when no one else is home. My client has Multiple Sclerosis. She's pretty advanced and while she can still walk, she uses a walker that she keeps a death grip on to keep from falling. Since she is alone at times in this house, in the event of an emergency like a fire or something, how is she going to open that gate to get out of the house? It requires the use of two hands and she would be unable to stand up unless she is able to hold onto something besides the gate. Which might be why they made the change.

There's nothing wrong with the other gate they were using except that my client can open it since it's just lifting up on the bar. It seems that they feel she should stay out of the rest of the house other than her bedroom, her bathroom and the kitchen. Who knew all it would take is a baby gate? Plus, the added bonus of having me fall on their floor.

I'm not hurt badly, just enough to make moving kind of iffy after I've rested for a bit. I think I'm going to break out the supply of Capzaisin and apply it liberally before bedtime. I have to work tomorrow, I need everything in condition enough to do so. Or, what passes for that condition at my age.

Do You Think You're Special?

I don't like people. I love (sometimes) my family, but as a whole the people I meet while getting from point A to point B during the day, just...well...suck. There's no other word that adequately describes my dislike of people. Mind you, I don't feel the need to find a gun and shoot you all. Of course, this could possibly be because I'm not a member of the "special just because you were born" generation. Which is probably where my dislike of people finds it's origin. I'm just jealous. I wasn't brought up to believe I was supposed to be deliriously happy every waking moment of the day. As a result, I don't spend my days focusing on the problems I have, I spend my time examining my options and hope that somewhere in that list is a solution that works for me. Since I'm not wallowing in the hole my problem creates, I can't find a doctor to say I'm depressed and need to take a pill for it. As a result of that, I have to work for a living instead of staying home and feeding my unhappy face until I weigh enough to be considered disabled. This working for a living sucks because it keeps me active enough to lose weight. Which, of course, means my knees don't hurt enough to qualify me for one of those Scooter Store battery operated chairs. I'd have to cough up the 3 grand or so out of my own pocket and that just ain't happening. I can't even get myself arrested so I can take advantage of those "three squares and a bed" the county is always promising those who don't mind having their privileges taken away. I can't find it in my heart to make a fibbing 9 year old run for 3 hours until she gets so dehydrated that she dies. I can't bring myself to pick a fight with someone and get so mad at them that I'm willing to throw a dog off a balcony to it's death just because I'm pissed off. Nor do I ever resort to shooting folks just because of the color of their skin. I'm not so special that I can't wait patiently in a grocery store line while someone in front of me writes a check to pay the bill. I'm even willing to let folks with a handful of items go ahead of me so they don't have to wait long just to buy a loaf of bread. I even understand that the semi driver stopped at the light in front of me needs quite a bit more road than I do to get back up to speed. He can't just tromp on the gas and be 5 miles over the speed limit by the time he reaches the other side of the intersection. Life just doesn't work that way, of course, all you "special just because you were born" don't understand that, do you? It must suck to feel that every obstacle in life is put there just to irritate your ass. Can't be any other explanation for those obstacles can there? You were taught from birth that you never had to take responsibility for anything. Life was going to hand you roses or whatever else you needed to feel good. After all, you don't have to lift a finger to accomplish anything, YOU were born special. Which doesn't mean that anyone has any respect for you. Apparently you know that since you don't even respect yourself. People with self respect don't sit around whining about life. We accept that we aren't going to make the right decision all the time and we do the best we can to fix what we break. People with self respect don't feel that we're better than you are, we're just sick and tired of listening to the litany of reasons why you think life sucks. Get over yourself. You weren't born special, you were born the same way the rest of us were. You're going to have the same problems the rest of us do, and if you win one once in awhile, it's because you made the effort to do something instead of complain about it. In other words, you get to take out what you put into life. It isn't life that sucks, it's YOU! Now do something about that will you?

The Return of Women As Second Class Citizens

The Equal Rights Amendment was passed by Congress in 1972, and is still not added to the Constitution as the 28th Amendment. The reason for that is, it has not been ratified by the necessary 38 states. Women 20 or more years younger than I am believe they have equal rights under the Constitution, and simply can't understand how men doing their job make more money than they do. We are led to believe that benefits us in some way since the men are being paid more and are our protectors. Maybe in some alternate universe this occurs, like the proverbial pigs ass?

In 2006 there were nearly 233,000 reported rapes. That same year nearly 1,600 women lost their lives to violence by spouse or significant other. Estimates on non fatal physical violence by husband or significant other range from 900,000 to as high as 3 million victims. These statistics are for the US alone. Guys, this is not what Olivia Newton-John meant when she sang "Let's get physical" in the 1970's. Trust me on that.

The angriest I ever got at someone I had contact with online was with John The Squabbler. He stated to me that this increase in domestic violence was a direct result of women wanting equality. While I don't remember that he outright blamed women for being victims, he skirted close enough to it that I was truly offended. The problem was his experience within his family as a child was different from mine.

I was raised in a family where Dad made all the decisions without any input from my Mom. This state of affairs was, along with his verbal abuse, why they found themselves in divorce court by the time I was 13. He created a situation where Mom was fully dependent upon him for transportation to everything and then he didn't like it. He chose the house we lived in which was on the outskirts of the city and not near stores or other family members homes. He undermined her attempts at learning to drive, belittled and yelled at her constantly. She was among the lucky ones in our circle of acquaintances.

Three of my childhood friends were sexually molested by their fathers. Our next door neighbor had 6 kids and was the clumsiest woman according to her husband. She had black eyes, broken nose, ribs, her arm and once was so badly beaten she had a concussion. My friend Carol's Mom who also had frequent bruising finally fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck. We now know she was beaten and pushed by her husband. He admitted it on his deathbed. He did it between the time the kids left for school and he left for work. Carol and her brothers found her when they got home.

Mom's friend Anita had 2 boys she simply was unable to love. They were conceived through rape which in the 50's and 60's wasn't rape due to the perpetrator being her husband. Women didn't have the right to say no to their husbands and men had the right to force their wives to do whatever they wanted as long as they didn't kill them, men had the right to punish them as if they were wayward children.

None of this happened in ghettos or occurred in families living in poverty. This happened in middle class families where the men had decent jobs that allowed them to provide well for their families. This happened in families that attended church every Sunday without fail. The men were officers in the Air Force, General Managers in local mills, and in the case of my Dad, the city Codes Enforcer. There are no statistics for the frequency of occurrence during those years because no one ever reported it. Even rape victims would not go to the police because they would be treated as if they caused it to happen to them. Victims were actually asked if they enjoyed it or if they had an orgasm.

Here we are, half a century later and MEN, those we have elected to govern us are again trying to take away from women any right that we have gained. They even have support from women who have decided that bad things don't happen to decent god fearing women. Bad things only happen to sluts, bimbos and other women who dress provocatively and behave as if they're available to all takers. Bad things only happen to poor women who keep having babies so they won't have to ever work for a living since they live high on Welfare.

I was a normal average kid, in a normal average neighborhood, in what people believe now was a "kinder, gentler America". I find nothing kind or gentle in the lives of women who were and are treated as children to be controlled by the whim of her "better half". If we sit silently by and allow men to decide what we can and can't do with our bodies, then we are failing our daughters and granddaughters by forcing them to live without the right to be self directing within their own lives.

Sometimes It's Really Because of The Gun

I knew in the first two weeks of caring for this particular client that there were some emotional/mental issues going on. Part of it was her constant attacks on the character of her daughter-in-law who had supplanted her in the heart of her son as his first concern. She was angry that he hadn't made her a dependent and moved her to live with him and his growing family at his current military base. The other clue was her obsession with the younger tenants in her high rise. They, she said, were gang members. Since this is a low cost housing unit, many of them are black or Hispanic.

To hear her tell it, she was on a first name basis with the mayor, many members of the Common Council and all of the local policemen. She said they all call her Ma. The reason for all this elbow rubbing with the local authorities was that she was the captain of the neighborhood watch.

According to her, she single handedly got control of a building that she felt was rife with criminal activity. All I saw, or heard when I was there 3 times a week were the heavy steel doors getting away from the tenants entering or exiting their apartments with their hands full of whatever they were carrying. Many of the tenants spent time on their balconies enjoying the weather and smoking cigarettes. Yes, some of those cigarettes were hand rolled or from one of those rolling machines because, after all, these are low income tenants. There was never the tell tale scent of burning mattresses. Other "criminal" activity consisted of having company and playing music or televisions too loud. Which, no one was complaining about. Except for my client. She walked all the floors and listened at doors for that particular illegal activity. She denies it but there were 30 complaints, in writing, against her for that.

There were all those calls to the police department reporting all this activity which, of course, necessitated that a patrol respond to these nuisance reports. Finally, after about 6 months of it there was a meeting. It was attended by a local Police Captain, the Neighborhood Watch officer that coordinates, the building manager and district manager for the company that owns the building. The upshot of that meeting was her removal as Neighborhood Watch Captain. Of course, to hear her tell it, it was all lies, she proved it wasn't her making the calls and they want her back but she won't go back since they accused her. I didn't bother to point out that she told me when she had to call the police and what for.

She, or someone like her are the absolute last people who should ever be in a position of authority over anyone. She can't keep friends since none of them will take care of her the way she believes she should be cared for. I've never met anyone who lies about EVERYTHING the way she does. My problem is that she believes her own lies. Her grasp on reality some days is slim to none. How she functions is beyond me. What mental aberration she suffers from is not on her diagnostics so I have no idea. I just know she's not right in the head. I also know that under the right set of circumstances she could be dangerous.

During her tenure as Watch Captain she was extremely frustrated at her inability to get rid of those younger men she believed were members of some New York City gangs. Her constant refrain was that building management was going to be very sorry when rival gang members moved in. She was sure that violence was going to erupt and good tenants would be found lying dead in hallways and stairwells. It was all those "gang members" living there that she felt were the problem. Not her and her preconceived notions about who these people were. The problem was they were all gang members. She, however, was someone with delusions of grandeur in a position of authority. This tale ends differently than that of George Zimmerman. She just didn't have a gun.

He Who Pays The Bills Makes The Rules

There's a war going on in Twitter between some people over the above video. I'm not sure what I think about the Dad's parenting skills, but I don't see that this is an indication that he abuses her. Among the comments on Youtube is the information that Child Protective and the police have interviewed Dad and his daughter and are on the side of Dad. How they know this is not explained. I understand Dad's frustration. I have had step-children for whom I was responsible part of the time. Youngest never seemed upset when I enforced the "my house, my rules" dictum. However, after telling me that I was actually a more consistent parent than his Mom was, he is raising his children the way his Mom did rather than my way. Guess he didn't like those rules after all. He also complains constantly that both his children seemed to feel that parents are unpaid cooks, housekeepers and chauffeurs on demand. My Grandson seems to feel that his Dad is supposed to drop everything when his friend can be picked up to come and play games. It's never the friends parent that provides transportation, it's always Youngest. If you've ever seen a 14 year old boy throw a moody temper tantrum, you'll understand my frustration. Somehow said 14 year old seems not to understand that Dad has other things to attend to first. Like doing all the chores HE was supposed to do but didn't. Yeah, maybe Youngest should shoot my Grandson's laptop so he'll actually do something instead of spending time playing games. Oh, and for those who haven't figured it out yet. When you give a child everything they want without making them work for it, they respect neither you nor the expensive things you've been buying them. They come away from their childhood with an over developed sense of entitlement and have a very hard time coping with real life. You know about real life? The place where you don't get everything you want without working hard to get it for yourself? Yeah, that place. The place I've lived in for 62 years and have been told by those much younger than I am that I don't understand. My lack of understanding is probably why I am able to live within my means and not have to worry about bankruptcy every month. Ignorance really is bliss.

Good News...Bad News

Bad news first. Doctor says my spondylitis is spreading. I could have told her that. It arrived in my ankle last week. Either that or someone grabbed a railroad spike from somewhere and sledgehammered it into my left ankle. I'm rooting for the latter since that would be a one time deal. However, I'm pretty sure it's the former which means that walking is going to get a whole lot more painful. I told the doctor I was stubborn, she felt that word has negative connotations and prefers the word sturdy. Ok, I'll accept it, either way I'm not giving up.

Good news is that my blood pressure has finally come down to normal and my weight loss plateau has developed a tilt. Only 25 or thereabouts more pounds to go. Funny, I was listening to a commercial that stated that WOMEN over 40 had to work out at the gym for 1 hour a day just to maintain their existing weight. Hell, I'm 22 years past that and haven't been inside a gym since school. I'm losing and all I'm doing is eating whole foods rather than the processed junk I've eaten for years. Red Beans and Rice for supper with a nice big salad. Not out of a box made by Zatarians either.

Planned Parenthood...NOT Just An Abortion Clinic

The above picture was taken from an information site for the genetic disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa. This was the kindest, least disturbing picture I could find. It is the first picture in a series of pictures that shows how to wrap the baby's body in gauze to protect the child from further skin damage caused by simply touching the child. 

EB children lack the connective tissue which keeps the outer layer of skin attached to the layers beneath it. Any kind of contact can cause massive blisters to form, which will break open and seldom heal again. They eventually lose their fingers and toes and sometimes their lips and teeth. Since they're little more than walking bedsores, they are prone to all kinds of deadly infections.

Until they die, usually by the age of 14 or so, children with EB in this form suffer the constant pain normally associated with second or first degree burns. One of my nieces has 2 of these children. She wouldn't have had the second had she been allowed free access to our local Planned Parenthood. Please note, she would have PREVENTED the pregnancy, NOT aborted it. 

The month of her appointment for renewal of her birth control method our local RWNJ anti-abortionists were picketing. It was such a hostile situation that even Dr. Robinson's patients didn't cross the picket line to enter the building that Planned Parenthood shares with other businesses. Dr. Robinson is an ORAL SURGEON. A fact these people didn't care about when they were there. They prevented her from obtaining her birth control pills and she became pregnant during the time she was without. She, and many others like her use Planned Parenthood because they simply can't afford to pay for these services anywhere else.

The picketers intent was to shut down Planned Parenthood who, in their minds, is the biggest abortion clinic in the United States. The FACT that Planned Parenthood is a low income women's healthcare clinic seems to have gotten lost in the abortion issue. Despite Sen. John Kyl's statement that 90% of their services are abortions, which he then said was "not intended to be a factual statement", the actual number of abortion procedures is closer to 3% to maybe 10% of their services. The figures provided by Planned Parenthood indicates it's 3%, I'm including the 10% because I've seen it suggested elsewhere and am using it for the sake of argument. 

The bulk of the services provided by Planned Parenthood is in the form of testing and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases, birth control information and cancer screening via breast examination and pap smears. They do this through private funding as well as Medicare/Medicaid billing.  

Due to the need of some people to interfere in what should be a person's decision based on personal knowledge and ones conscience, ABORTION has become a political issue. If you take a good look at supporters of Sarah Palin, you will find that it exists largely because of her stance on the abortion issue. They focus on abortion because of their very narrow belief systems. Unfortunately, the Susan G. Komen Foundation's decision to withdraw funding from Planned Parenthood was met with gleeful support by those who are so rabid in their anti-abortion stance that they refuse to acknowledge the good done by that organisation. 

My problem with all of this is that the very people who are unwilling to stay out of the uterus of women are the ones that will not acknowledge the results of their interference. They would cut the funding to my niece which pays for medical care of these two children. The feeding tubes, because they can't swallow. The numerous hospital stays because of infection. The price of the gauze to wrap them daily. The cost of homeschooling for the oldest one because he can't go to public school since there is no way to protect him. Even the local CHRISTIAN school has denied him a place in their classrooms. I can't blame them really, the cost of providing some form of protection from the other children would be prohibitive. 

However, had people focused on the good that Planned Parenthood does instead of calling it an abortion clinic, some families might not have to stand silently by and watch these children suffer. All these kids want to do is play and not suffer pain. 

I'm asking you to think about it, and instead of donating to the Susan G Komen Foundation, send your money directly to Planned Parenthood to be used for birth control education and supplies. Having had access to her pills might have limited our suffering to one child. If you have the stomach for it, Google Epidermolysis Bullosa and click on the pictures to see what it is we're dealing with and ask yourself whether you could handle that or not.