Saturday, February 11, 2012
He Who Pays The Bills Makes The Rules
There's a war going on in Twitter between some people over the above video. I'm not sure what I think about the Dad's parenting skills, but I don't see that this is an indication that he abuses her. Among the comments on Youtube is the information that Child Protective and the police have interviewed Dad and his daughter and are on the side of Dad. How they know this is not explained.
I understand Dad's frustration. I have had step-children for whom I was responsible part of the time. Youngest never seemed upset when I enforced the "my house, my rules" dictum. However, after telling me that I was actually a more consistent parent than his Mom was, he is raising his children the way his Mom did rather than my way. Guess he didn't like those rules after all.
He also complains constantly that both his children seemed to feel that parents are unpaid cooks, housekeepers and chauffeurs on demand. My Grandson seems to feel that his Dad is supposed to drop everything when his friend can be picked up to come and play games. It's never the friends parent that provides transportation, it's always Youngest. If you've ever seen a 14 year old boy throw a moody temper tantrum, you'll understand my frustration. Somehow said 14 year old seems not to understand that Dad has other things to attend to first. Like doing all the chores HE was supposed to do but didn't. Yeah, maybe Youngest should shoot my Grandson's laptop so he'll actually do something instead of spending time playing games.
Oh, and for those who haven't figured it out yet. When you give a child everything they want without making them work for it, they respect neither you nor the expensive things you've been buying them. They come away from their childhood with an over developed sense of entitlement and have a very hard time coping with real life.
You know about real life? The place where you don't get everything you want without working hard to get it for yourself? Yeah, that place. The place I've lived in for 62 years and have been told by those much younger than I am that I don't understand. My lack of understanding is probably why I am able to live within my means and not have to worry about bankruptcy every month. Ignorance really is bliss.
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I have paragraphs in this that will not post. Sorry, but when I revert to draft they're present, but not when I post.
ReplyDeleteFor me this post is very complex but in general I pretty much agree with the dad. While I face similar issues with my kids I do not believe they are as extreme. My son is fairly responsible for a 16 year-old these days and my 9 year-old daughter has to be watched closely to keep her on track with her school work but she is on the honor roll.
ReplyDeleteNeither of them work very hard around the house and I do feel that is something that needs to change. But long story short kids these days are products of our curent culture. Most middle class kids do not struggle for things because we parents have enough to make their lives comfortable. So if our kids are lazy that is our own fault, the fact that our culture only promotes this lifestyle is something we can control by actually being the parents we are suppose to be to begin with.
As for dad shooting the laptop, that was moronic. There could have been something just underneath the surface that could have sent that bullet straight back into him or someone else nearby. Plus, it was simply overly dramatic which shows him to be something of a child as well.
I thought his actions extremely immature, but having had the pleasure of waking up one morning to find my living room trashed by 2 boys who'd had a popcorn and Mountain Dew fight in it, I understand his frustration. However, his reaction is too far off the track.
DeleteOur culture needs to change since we're raising kids without the tools to cope with adult life. The message that what you get out of life is in proportion to what you put in. Put nothing in and you get nothing back. Unfortunately, many of today's young adult is so supremely self centered that they can't handle being disappointed. It occurs to me that Dad in the video is probably in his late 30's and shooting a laptop in front of a camera to be posted online is how he handles it? Ummmmm, parenting lessons might be a good thing here.
Neither of my grandkids do much around the house. Their Mom works and she's the one that cleans their bedrooms while they are off having fun with their friends. Why doesn't today's parent get that they are rewarding kids for lacking a sense of responsibility? I almost started WW3 by suggesting they not be allowed out of the house on weekends until their rooms were cleaned. Learned to keep my mouth shut after that.
The pistol firing on a child's laptop was too much.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
Yep. And it's like I said, if you buy expensive items for your kid without making them understand they have to work for them, then kids don't respect you.
DeleteI'm just glad that I'm no longer in charge of any raising of kids. These days I might find myself in court for child abuse. I was taller than my little bit of a Momma by the time I was 10. It was amazing how tall I thought SHE was when she had Dad's leather belt in her hand.
ReplyDeleteThanx for the read, your title caught my atencion when I was at Beach Bums blog. I raised 3 daughter's myself and am pretty close with my grandkid's too. But I think there is something missing in alot of the parenting today as well. I grew up a street kid and been on my own since 13 year's old or so, so my parent;'s time with me was very limited to as a kid. But also learned quick that I would have to hustle if I want anything in life out there.
ReplyDeleteThanx for the read
I saw this video and was appalled by his shooting up the laptop; to me that was uncalled for. He seems like a tyrant to me and obviously daughter felt she could not talk openly with her parents about how she truly feels, sad really.
ReplyDeletenot to mention embarassing his daughter, some things you can never undo, this may well be one of them.
ReplyDelete