Lying To Myself

At my last doctor visit, she didn't feel I was as "far along the curve" as she thinks I should be. At first I was wondering about a possible health issue that we might be missing. I took a virtual trip through the Mayo Clinic, WebMD and other sites like Medicine (dot) net. I don't advise that. Unless, of course, it's Halloween and you're looking for a way to scare the bejeezus out of yourself.

My entire attitude towards the changes I'm making is one of having to give up everything I like which would make the extra years I'll live pretty damn boring. I had settled on a 90/10 percent ratio of healthy versus unhealthy and had you asked me, I would have said "Achievement Unlocked". Since I believed I had managed the changes I couldn't understand why my weight loss stopped, and why my blood pressure was still higher than it should be. Of more importance to me was also why I'm not consistently feeling better.

I decided that the only way to know what was going on would be to create a journal of everything I consumed and how active I actually was. It was an enlightening 2 months of recording my life in one of those black and white composition notebooks that pages are stitched into. I didn't want any of those pages tearing out.

I discovered that the incidents of consuming the bad things like doughnuts, muffins, pieces of cake, slices of pie, pieces of candy were a lot more often than I was admitting to myself. I also failed in the fruit/veggie department. Instead of the 90/10 percent, I am actually closer to the 50/50 percent which obviously isn't enough.

Activity level was adequate and would have been beneficial IF I had actually accomplished the 3 hours per week of physical exercise. I found the exercise was more like an hour a week of stretching and 0 strength building or aerobic activity. That inconsistency alone would explain the total exhaustion on the days at work where I'm mopping floors and carrying laundry through the halls of the buildings to the onsite laundromats. At the end of those days I have difficulty getting out of my rather low to the ground car.

I have 0 resistance to temptation and part of my problem is clients who worry about my lack of food intake. Someone with resolve would have no problem saying no to the goodies they offer even though it hurts their feelings. I'm going to get around that by purchasing some fresh fruits like apples, oranges or pears to take with me to eat when I'm working. I can cut them up and put them in baggies to stick in my tote bag. It's not going to stop them from offering, but it will give me the backbone to say no.

Now I have to figure out what kind of strength building exercise I can do that won't kill my knees and hip. Walking isn't doing it so I guess some kind of squats will be in the plan. I've fallen outside on the ice 3 times this Winter so anything that strengthens my legs and helps me keep my balance is a good thing. I may lack the "joy of exercise" gene, but I also don't have the "joy of falling on my ass" gene either. It's all about choices these days. And taking better care of me.