Lost But Never Forgotten

I am guilty of not paying attention to my blog. As a result, I didn't notice the profile picture that was missing nor the kitty giving the finger picture that used to sit at the bottom of my page. I thought they were uploaded pictures, but the info on those editors pages states they're the victims of "invalid urls".

My current profile picture is one I took of my own mouse pad. It's been stored in Photobucket for a few years. Since it's mine, it's not likely to be the victim of invalid url disease unless I forget and move it. I haven't been using my Photobucket in awhile, a very long while, since I lost my book in which I wrote all my passwords.

When the book accidentally got put into the wood stove, I started another one with the passwords I could remember. I couldn't remember that one. The downside of being creative with passwords when you are over 60 is they are prone to be victims of those Senior Moments we begin to have. Had I known that the internet would contribute to those moments to the degree it does, I might have passed it by. Well, probably not but it sounded good.

Anyways, I was sitting here looking at the pictures I have in there when all of a sudden I simply logged in. Out of the murky mess that is my mind, something caused a minor volcanic eruption and the information that was spit up was the correct password. To be honest, the incident occurred more like a cat hacking up hairballs with one or two attempts before producing anything. I like the volcanic analogy better.

While perusing my Photobucket I discovered there seems to be quite a few missing pictures. The important ones are there, but there are places on each page beginning somewhere around page 24 that are simply black spaces. I had posted on Blogstream a series of "Wanted" posters for various things and people. When I find something fun to do I tended to overdo it. Especially in the earlier days online.

I believe some of those are missing. I have the one I did of Scratch, Daisy and Mr Ornery's slippers, but the ones I did of Scratchy's alter egos from the cat world are gone. Of course, every single one of those silly comment graphics are all there. My artwork is all there, probably because before I lost my password book, I had moved all those into a sub album. The same with family pictures, they were moved too.

The drug paraphernalia pictures from one of my blogaversary parties are also missing. The mushroom picture, the glass bongs, etc. There are others missing that I can't recall so they were probably not important and wouldn't be available on a blog anywhere since Blogstream is kaput. There are times when I miss the place, but then I realize it took over my life in a way that I didn't expect it could, and probably shouldn't have allowed it to do.

When I started I was grieving the loss of my Mom and dealing with the illnesses that eventually took my Dad. Emotional upheaval that  me into a world where I didn't have to feel the pain. It was all smoke and mirrors but it helped me avoid something that I should have faced head on. I can't claim it was a negative experience since it did allow me the time to heal enough to be strong enough to complete the process. It did prevent me from moving past the anger portion of grief, but I managed it eventually and turned out alright after all.

Too bad the same couldn't be said for Mr Ornery's slippers.

(Insert evil laughter here)