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It started Monday morning when I got out of bed and it's gone downhill ever since. It was just barely light outside when I put feet on the floor and promptly stepped in a hairball. It wasn't my first rodeo with those things by a long shot, but I have never managed them with equanimity when they occur before I've had coffee.
I knew it wasn't going to be a good day when I arrived at my first clients house to find that one of the dogs had left his/her calling card on the hallway floor. I grabbed my gloves and paper towels to clean it up before entering client's bedroom to get her up for the day. While finding out what color she wanted to wear for the day, I kept hoping the odor I was inhaling was a lingering one from the calling card left in the hallway. Alas it was not to be, which I found out as soon as I let down the bars of her bed and pulled back her covers.
At this point, all we can do is hike to the bathroom and hope it doesn't leave a trail on the floor. We got lucky there, but when I got her into the bathroom and began to undress her...well...that was when my luck ran out.
Her pull ups had twisted and none of the load even made it into them. All of it was in the left leg of her pajamas, and at this point it had oozed down into a slipper. She has colitis, doesn't go every day, takes a stool softener and when I say there was a lot of it, I'm not kidding.
During the removal of the pajamas it got smeared all over her left leg, and since I was beside her on her left side, it got on my forearm, my scrub sleeve and the side of my scrub top. Which I didn't detect until I arrived at the second clients residence. Yeah, it went with me. Found it when I was cleaning her bathroom mirror.
I cleaned her off with wipes, sat her on the toilet where I hoped any remainder would go, and started cleaning the crap off me and out of her PJ bottoms. The description of how that's managed would be TMI so I won't go into it. It requires a bathtub and a hand held shower thingy. It also requires a strong stomach and the ability not to gag.
I go back to that client tomorrow morning, and she's due for another episode. Much of the time I get her into the bathroom in time. The remainder of the time I manage not to get it on me. Until Monday this is.
Since I could live quite comfortably without EVER getting any on me again, I picked up 2 disposable hospital gowns from the office today. When I use one of them, I'm to let the office know so they can have another ready for me so I'll never be without them. I just hope they work.
In all seriousness I salute you, that episode takes the proverbial cake for having a bad day.
ReplyDeleteWhen I say O have shitty days, I'm obviously not exaggerating. At least I didn't get any on me today.
DeleteSher.. I have had some bad days but none nearly as bad as that. you must be the queen of patience my friend! hope your coming weekend is better than the rest of your week. (Blogger still needs emoticons!)
ReplyDeleteWhen I started reading your comment I had a flash of the little rolly dude laughing.
DeleteI don't think it's patience as much as acceptance that this is all part of what I do. Oh, and a sense of humor helps.
YUP! I could use an emoticon right about now.
Get out and walk in the grass and look around. There are some flowers and birds out there for you.
ReplyDeleteYep. I was outside to look at the pretty flowers and listen to the birdies singing. Promptly stepped in a pile of dog crap.
DeleteI have even had people shoot at me on one of my jobs - but after that description I wouldn't trade with you: no way - no how.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
That makes you "shot at and missed" and I'm "shit at and hit". Whatta pair!!! ROFLMAO
DeleteSherry,
ReplyDeleteAs a veteran poopologist, I can readily identify with your experience. And just so you know, on the OFFICIAL BRISTOL STOOL CHART, your client's "result" would be a 7.
Mister O,
ReplyDeleteAll she gives us these days are Bristol 7's.
Yesterday's mess landed on the floor, plus she stepped in it. *sigh* I'm going to need to order another disposable gown from the office. Mine got used and dirtied, but it didn't go with me to the next client's.