Sunday, November 1, 2009

Not The Best Party I've Ever Attended

I don't know where to begin with this post. The Halloween Party turned out to be Youngest's Wife's attempt to restore a relationship between Hubby and Myself with 2 members of the family that we've fallen out with. It's not the kind of falling out that creates unpleasantness at social gatherings because we just don't go when we know they're going and we don't get invited to their parties. This has resulted in missed graduation parties, birthday celebrations, christenings, etc.

Hubby was the victim in all of this, he chose to ignore the situation and the perpetrators rather than to further divide the family. His Mom is dead, and although he lost out on EVERYTHING that she had willed to him, he decided to honor her memory and not create problems. I've kept my mouth shut for 5 years because I honor my husband's choices.

Hubby's oldest sister, without legal power of attorney, sold antiques that included Hubby's roll top oak desk to herself and her favorite brother. Since she didn't have power of attorney, his Mom's name appears on every single bill of sale and we know it's a forgery. Her will was missing, the deed to the house was missing, the CD's that were held jointly in his Mom's name and the names of every one of her children were cashed in.

The house, the house she lived in all her life which was way too big was sold to Aunt Ninny's favorite brother for $17,000 dollars. The sale took place while his Mom was in a nursing home and in a semi-comatose state caused by Alzheimers Disease. She wasn't capable of feeding herself, let alone hold a pen. Sale was witnessed by...Aunt Ninny and Hubby's Youngest Sister. The will divided everything equally and neither Hubby, nor his Oldest Brother received their share of that $17,000. They didn't have to give Hubby anything, there was no will to present. As a matter of fact, everything that had her signature on it was gone. No way to prove forgery without a signature is there?

The only thing Hubby cared about was his desk. It was a gift to him from his Dad who died in 1968. He asked Ninny for the desk back and she refused to let him have it claiming that he didn't take it when he married me so it was hers now. She took care of their Mom, she earned it. He hasn't spoken to either her or his Youngest Sister since.

The problem with the brother that bought the house illegally was resolved when he came to us and explained why he did it. I'd like to buy a $100,000 house for
$17,000. He lives directly next to it and couldn't stand the thought of strangers living in the house. He rents it out to the friend of the family that took care of their Mom until it became necessary for her to reside in a nursing home. There has been no attempt to resolve the issues between Hubby and his sisters. Not even at last night's party. The tension was so thick last night that you could have cut it with a knife. Thankfully the sisters left early so the party wasn't a total loss.

When Hubby's Mom was alive, I used to envy his relationship with his brothers and sisters. Sometimes remembering the way it used to be makes what's happening now that much harder to bear. When it's a family members hand on the knife, the wound is much deeper and more painful.


  1. Family strife hurts the worst. I'm really sorry that this hurts you, however, maybe writing about it will help.....perhaps?


  2. We had made great strides in getting past all this. Our DIL didn't know all of what happened and she adores both Ninny and the Youngest Sister. We don't blame her for trying, she meant well, but all that happened is she created more grief.

    The whole story is now out, and it didn't come from Hubby or me. It came from Hubby's oldest brother who got mad over something Ninny said to me. We were talking about my Dad and I said that when it came to the funeral arrangements I opted out rather than step on my step-mom and half brother's toes. Ninny made some comment about not being able to rely on her family to stay out of her way and it went downhill from there.

    Even the middle brother who bought the house wasn't aware of everything she took. He didn't know that the girls kept all the money, nor that we never were allowed to choose anything that belonged to her. He rectified that this afternoon. There was an art print in an elaborate frame that hung in her "good parlor". Ninny had it stored in her barn, I have it hanging on my hallway wall now.

  3. oh Lord Sherry, that's awful but it does happen unfortunately to a lot of families.